Freeza
:"Oh, lord! these heroic types with their speeches. Blah, blah, injustices. Blah, blah, tyranny. Blah, blah, blah, 'Freeza, stop killing me!' God, does he have any idea how hard it is to run an empire? I got other things to do today, you know; like decide what wine will I have for dinner tonight. White wine, red wine, or, dare I say, ''Rosé? Oh, perhaps I should give Cooler a call; his birthday's coming up. ...Nah, he's a prick! Wait a second, where was I? Oh right! Mass genocide."'' :''-Freeza'' Freeza (フリーザ, Furīza, Freeza) is the main antagonist of the second season of DBZ Abridged, and the primary catalyst of the series. Charateristics and Personality Freeza is almost the same as he is in the actual series. Like other abridged characters, he is less serious and considerably more comical, both in act and portrayal, especially the satirisation of his overusage of black humour, frequently making jokes about the races he's killed off, such as asking how many Namekians it takes to screw a light bulb. He shows no concern for his underlings and employees, killing them to threaten his right hand man, or to simply skip an awkward conversation. Another trait of him is his racism, which is denied by Freeza who replies that he can't be racist to a race that doesn't exist. He keeps a very accurate mental list of lines of heroic speeches used by his disposed enemies and the number of times that each are used. Much like the Z Kai version of the anime, Freeza speaks in an eloquent language and has sardonic wits. He resents his older brother, Cooler, and the feeling is mutual. While Freeza would constantly refer him as a 'prick', Cooler would try to humiliate Freeza in different ways. Freeza's relationship with his father, King Cold, is far better, with Cold even referring his son as his 'little princess', much to Freeza's chagrin. Biography Destroy the Saiyans Freeza's top right hand man, Zarbon reports to him that Planet Kanassa has been conquered. Freeza congratulates him in a raspy voice before coughing repeatedly, saying he's got something in his throat. Zarbon continues saying that a small band of Saiyans under led by Bardock were the ones who seized the planet, much to Freeza's surprise. He then names Kanassa under a random selection of Frieza Planet 419. Realizing the high threat the Saiyans have begun to pose to his rule, Freeza orders his lieutenant Dodoria to get rid of Bardock's squadron, though Bardock survives and escapes. Freeza dismisses the situation, saying Bardock's heading to Planet S.O.L., to Zarbon and Dodoria's confusion. Annoyed, Freeza explains he was referring to Planet Shit-Out-Of-Luck, though this is replaced with "Planet Vegeta" by a cutaway gag. When Bardock launches an attack on Freeza's ship, the tyrant calls for 'waves of Freeza-soldiers', though Bardock ploughs through them with ease. Freeza decides to settle the problem himself and exits his ship. While Bardock lectures on, Freeza ignores him and instead thinks to himself on heroic speeches and even ponders on whether to call Cooler on his upcoming birthday, only to decide against it, saying that he's a prick. Freeza launches a Supernova which kills Bardock and destroys Planet Vegeta, all the while laughing maniacally. However, Prince Vegeta, Nappa, Raditz, and Goku are the only survivors as they were not present on the planet. Freeza decides to keep them alive as soldiers for hire, especially Vegeta. At some point there was a "jock strap incident" which Captain Ginyu had to cover up. This jock strap incident is repeatedly referenced in later episodes by Vegeta, Freeza, and King Cold. Planet Namek 27 years later, Freeza overhears a conversation between Vegeta and Nappa about the Dragon Balls, as Nappa forgot to turn off his Scouter's transmitter (much to Vegeta's ire). He then heads to Namek to collect the Dragon Balls and wish for immortality. He fought Gohan, Krillin and Vegeta before he transformed into his second form. In his second form he fought Gohan, Krillin and Vegeta before Piccolo intervened, however he did request a time-out to prevent Vegeta escaping. His transformation into his third form caused Piccolo to comment on how he looked like a Xenomorph ("I think Ridley Scott's gonna sue somebody"). He doesn't need to transform any further from there, but got bored of it. He has a brief "fight" (described as "flailing angrily") with Vegeta before Goku arrives. When Vegeta began to recite the Super Saiyan Speech yet again, Freeza, annoyed at hearing it repeated so much, killed him.. After being badly injured by the Spirit Bomb, Freeza re-emerged from the hole and injured Piccolo badly before killing Krillin. After Goku transforms into a Super Saiyan and beats him, he asks for energy, wonders if he should turn over a new leaf, decides against it, and attacks Goku. Goku believes that he needs to give Freeza more energy, overdoing it and killing him. Attack on Earth However, Freeza still lives (barely) and is given robotic implants thanks to King Cold (although it seems he can't process stuff fast without shorting out). He heads to Earth with his father and his soldiers to kill the Z-Fighters. However, before he can get revenge on Goku for his defeat, he is intercepted by Trunks, who proceeds to wipe out his men. Horrified to find himself facing another Super Saiyan, Freeza unleashes a huge Death Ball at Trunks, but this has no effect. Eventually, he is sliced in half and obliterated by the mysterious newcomer. Freeza's list of lines from heroic speeches Freeza has heard so many of the same heroic cliche phrases in his lifetime that he lists how many times he's heard them, up to and including a vulgar threat of face-f*cking from a Namekien. When Freeza and Goku come face to face, Goku manages to say a phrase Frieza has not heard before, taking the tyrant by surprise. *"We're here to stop this senseless slaughter of our people." 92 times (Namek warrior) *"This has gone on for too long and now, you're going to pay" 355 times (Namek warrior) *"And we are the ones who will stop you." 419 times (Namek warrior) *"You insane bastard." 190 times (Namek warrior) *"We're going to F**K YOUR FACE!" 12 times (Namek warrior) *"That wasn't part of our deal." 500 times (Namek elder) *"Imma deck you in the schnozz!" 1 time (Goku) Quotes *Freeza: Ginyu! Hurry up! Double time! Zarbon really screwed the pooch on this one! **Zarbon: Lord Freeza, Vegeta's really giving us a pounding! **Freeza: I'm coming Zarbon! Quick, grab my Balls! **Ginyu Force: (laughs hysterically) *Oh no, that minion died. Could you go fix that? We'll continue this conversation never. *Freeza: Appule!? You left Appule here!? **Zarbon: Well, I thought he could handle it. **Freeza: Appule couldn't handle a shot of Raspberry Schnaps, much less Vegeta! *Freeza: Damn it all to hell; he's gone! And he took off with my Dragon Balls! **Zarbon: Lord Freeza I found a note. **Freeza: Let me see that...:it just says "Dear Freeza," and there's a picture of a butt. **Zarbon: Can I see it, Lord Freeza? **Freeza: Vegeta! Dragon Balls! Now! *(Singing)Peaceful young races with fires on their houses, millions of voices all silenced like mouses, watching the cowards bow toward their new king, these are a few of my favorite things. *(To Ginyu) I can't believe we came all the way out here and spent a week in the space boonies for nothing! Seriously, I'm surprised we didn't hear banjos on the way in, because everybody's inbred and LOOKS THE F*CKING SAME! Not to mention I lost Dodoria and Zarbon, the latter of whom spent 400 credits making long-distance calls to his girlfriend, WHO, I AM CONVINCED, IS NAMED CHUCK!! *Good Lord, I was led to believe your race survived entirely on water! How is he so fat?! *(Whilst flying with Nail) Oh, I know! How about a good old fashioned joke? How many Namekians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Their whole race! One to screw in the light bulb, and the rest to die... And then the other one dies too. (Nail remains silent) Stop ignoring me... *(To Nail after being called racist): Well, maybe so, but I can't quite be a racist against a race that doesn't exist. Like the Clorfors. Dirty money-grubbing Clorfors. Tried to clorf me right out of my money. Blew those little bastards up is what I did. *How many arms do you think we're up to? I think we're up to twenty-four. *Freeza: I WILL F*CKING MURDER YOU! **Nail: Whatever. *Why aren't the Ginyus showing up?!? (Realizes) Oh, they're dead. WHY ARE THEY DEAD?!?! *Freeza: Time to end this! (flings destructo disk at Goku, misses) I... huh? Oh, come on now, I... UGH! This blasted thing! **Goku: What're you doing down there? You trying to swat a bee? 'Cause I don't like bees. **Freeza: No, don't worry, I'm just- Oh! What is going on? What are these, inverted controls? Who even uses- HA! GOT IT! (flings desrtucto disk directly at goku, misses) DAMN IT! **Goku So are you just stealing Krillin's attacks now? Or should I watch out for the Tri-Beam? Or the Garlic Gun? Or the Makakapotamus? **Freeza: GOT YA, BITCH!!! *Oh, good. I'll stop by there on the way home; pick up some space eggs, some space milk and BLOW IT THE F*CK UP! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm usually far more composed. I'm just a little bit absolutely livid. *(After having his tail cut off) Alright who has the balls!? *I will mount your head where my tail use to be! *God Zarbon's dead, Dodoria's dead, the Ginyu's are dead, this has been one giant mess. It's just like that jockstrap incident, only now I don't have Ginyu to dig up the holes. *Oh please, if I'm as evil as you say I am then let God strike me down (gets hit by a lightning bolt but is unaffected) HA! Nice try jackass! Next time give it your A-game! *(After Goku is thrown upward by a stream of hot lava) Freeza: Ha! What do you have to say to that, monkey? **Goku: MY BUTT IS FLAMING!!! **Freeza: ...I miss Zarbon. *Freeza: What do ghosts have to do with this? **Goku: Everything. **Freeza: That's stupid. You're stupid! STOP BEING STUPID! *Between you and the Namekian I think I've lost my touch at genocide. *(After resurfacing) And I just keep getting reminded of my failures! *(thinking whilst trying to hold the Spirit Bomb) If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake... it's that I'm dying. *(While Goku is charging the Spirit Bomb) There you are again; throwing your hands up in the air like you just don't care. CARE DAMMIT!!! *I own you, I own your planet, I own this planet, in fact... "F*CK THIS PLANET!' *God, this always happens when I try to preform under stress. *That's not the problem you idiot! I can breathe in space. *I'd say you only have 5- is it 5?- Yes! 5 minutes before this planet explodes! *Well now you're Super Saiyan soup: high in vitamin dumbass. *Daddy, I don't want to be on Namek anymore. *GAH!!! MY ORGANS!! Stay in there, stay in your home, Daddy needs you. *I know I've killed a lot of people, some of which you liked, but, one neighbor to another, could you spare a cup of energy...? *You know, the funny thing is Bardock, even if you had seen this coming, there's nothing you could've done about it. *You see, that was my first guess. *King Cold: There it is; the home of the brute who dare lay hands on my little angel. **Mecha Freeza: Yes, Daddy. **King Cold: What a pretty little blue pearl it is. What was it called? "Ee-arth?" **Mecha Freeza: Actually, it's pronounced "Earth," Daddy-Daddy-Daddy-Daddy. *'BZZT'* **King Cold: Really? But there's an "A" in it? Oh, I'm just going to keep calling it "Ee-arth." **Mecha Freeza: It doesn't really matter anyway. Soon it'll have a brand new name; "Vacant Lot". *Mecha Freeza: Daddy, we can park anywhere we want! **King Cold: Now, son, if this is anything like that jock strap incident, we don't want to be boxed in. *My god, this is droll; we're so far out in Space sti-ti-ti-ticks *'BZZT'* There's not even a Space Radio Shack, much less a Space Best Buy-Buy-Buy-Buy-*'BZZT'* Circuit City. *(after Trunks transformed into a Super Saiyan) Those... those eyes! They're the same as... *remembers Goku* No. No. NO! NO! NO! KILL! *BZZT* MURDER! *BZZT* DESTROY! *BZZT* EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!! *Launches Death Ball* *(after nearly destroying Earth) "Sorry, I got a little bit carried away. Doesn't matter now, though; our little "super saiyan is dead-dead-dead *'BZZT'* cadaverific. Trivia *"He has owned Krillin the most times in a single episode. (10 times in one episode) *Freeza is voiced by LittleKuriboh. *All of Freeza's forms have the same exaggerated effeminate voice, with the exception of the second form whose voice has a strong resemblance to Yami from LittleKuriboh's Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged. *He gets off on hurting Gohan. * He grows quite attached to Vegeta after the latter cries when realizing he can't keep up with Freeza. He also wants Goku to go to hell and send Vegeta a message " Like a bitch". *Goku is the only character shown to give a heroic phrase that Freeza has never heard before ("Imma deck you in the schnozz!") *Freeza has a strong hatred of Cooler, calling him a prick. One of many things Freeza has proclaimed he will do once he is immortal is "slap him right in his smug prick face." *He has "F" by Maximum the Hormone as his scouter's ringtone. This is a reference to Japanese metal band Maximum the Hormone and the song is actually about Freeza. *He watches "Wheel of Death". *He is a wiki-vandal, changing Planet Vegeta's Wikipedia page to read "Vegeta is the home of a bunch of stupid, useless monkeys called the Saiyans" "Stupid monkeys hit by falling rocks. (Not Deathball thrown by Freeza). Ha Ha Ha Ha. P.S. Freeza rules you." *He was under the impression that Zarbon was gay. Even after learning Zarbon had a girlfriend, though, he suspected that said girlfriend was, in fact, named Chuck. *In episode 33, it's revealed that his father King Cold refers to him as "Daddy's little princess", referencing an earlier gag from Captain Ginyu. *Goku is the only character to call him Freezer, which his name is a pun on. *On episode 24, once Freeza learned that Nail and other Namekians could regenerate lost limbs, he takes the time to rip Nail's arm off again and again, 24 times. *At one point in episode 25, Freeza sings a dark parody of "A Few of My Favourite Things" from The Sound of Music. *His ship is outfitted with everything up to and including a monitor, healing tanks and even a muffin button *He kills Vegeta because his Super Saiyan Speech became so "old" it was annoying. *He isn't sure how Goku "functions". *He gets stronger by hurting Krillin, specifically 1-ups from the Mario series *The English spelling of his name is "Frieza" in most DB media, while Team Four Star use the original Japanese spelling; "Freeza." This is acknowledged in episode 33 where Trunks first pronounces his name as "Fry-za" and then wonders why there's an "i" in it, to which Freeza says there isn't. *Judging by the BSOD that appears when he is killed by Trunks, Mecha-Freeza runs on the Windows 95 operating system. The most recent Microsoft OS at the time of the episode's release was Windows 8. *Freeza has the ability to regenerate his tail yet only does so when he transformed to his last form. *Solar Flare is used on Vegeta at one point, and he describes it as being like walking in on Freeza in the shower. It is later used on Dodoria, where there is a photoshopped image of Freeza's head pasted onto a grey-scale image of a person showering that appears for a split second. A similar situation happens to Freeza later, wherein he sees a photoshopped image of Dodoria's head pasted onto an image of a fat woman with florescent pink skin dressed in skimpy attire. Gallery Freeza 4.jpg|link=Freeza! Freeza! Freeza! 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